Don't Blame Me (I Voted for the Other Guys!)
Episode 101: “The One With Everything”
For reasons I can’t and won’t divulge, I watched at least 120 scripted narrative TV series released in the US in 2024.
Of course, that isn’t every scripted narrative series that came out—some shows just aren’t as easy to come by as others, what without access to cable or ongoing subscriptions to third-tier streamers and premium plus add-ons plus plus. No doubt, there are brilliant nuggets to be discovered going that deep into the bowels of programming, but I’m guessing far more turds are buried in the diverticula of TV.
I didn’t screen independently-produced YouTubes of scripted visionary genius. Of course I applaud the indie Creator dedication to maintaining artistic integrity by not being discoverable to an audience, but ain’t nobody got time for that.
Otherwise, I watched a US shitload of TV.
I made a valiant effort to sit through at least one episode of every show, but admittedly there were those that just weren’t to my taste. (Nor should they be to anyone else’s.) Still, I gave up precious minutes I’ll never get back, even if I hated the show’s TV guts from frame one. Often, I was counting down the seconds until I could, in good conscience, abandon ship and never, ever have to view that particular garbage heap again, but I tried to honor the first ten minutes of even the worst offendors with respect and a sense of duty.
It weren’t easy.
If I struggled with, yet made it through, the first episode, I’d usually feel obliged to watch another, assuming the show might find its way in Ep. 102. (Or the numeric analog for series already past Season One.)
Obviously, there were shows that came out swinging, and binge-watching good TV made suffering through the dreadful viewing almost worth it.
(A remarkable 25 shows of shockingly worthwhile watchability, in fact.)
I’m a harsh critic.
Probably unfairly harsh.
I do recognize the difficulties in producing exceptional TV—hells bells, even OK TV.
If it was easy, everybody would do it—except not on YouTube, but on a legitimate broadcast network, cabler or streamer.
It’s apparent when the principals behind a series really, really, really tried to do something, but flopped—sometimes spectacular, glorious flopping. That’s commendable. Maybe not commendable enough for me to continue with your failed experiment, but kudos to you!
Contrariwise, one can tell when a series is phoned-in. (One being me.)
It’s sitcoms shot entirely in the wides, clinging to bygone notions of sitcommery: three-jokes-a-page, hurried too-clever banter, whimsical scores, tired forms, formats and formulae.
It’s melodramas with ham-fisted dialogue telegraphing and over-explaining away all nuance, subtlety and surprise, pretending edginess, but safely same-as-it-ever-was.
It’s 400 iterations of a procedural. It’s docu-follow workplace comedies. And it’s Paramount+.
“Content.” Filler between commercials. Background noise.
And yet crud consistently winds up on Best Of The Year lists, sweeps Big Time Showbiz awards shows, gets renewed by network execs, and normalizes the ho-hum in a never-ending cycle of jejune mediocrity.
Hooray for Hollywood!
I can’t be the only one who feels tremendously bummered year-after-year as the pedestrian is feted, overhyped and whoop-whooped while the marvelous is unheralded, overlooked, and woefully forgotten? Can I? Am I?
Probably.
So what! I’ve got opinions!
Stay-tuned for Don’t Blame Me, Episode 102
Shocker! I acknowledge when I’m in agreement with the critics, award-nominating committees and viewing audience!
Hallelujah! I ballyhoo the shows that fell through the cracks!
Spoiler alert! I do my best not to ruthlessly savage the crapola—and I fail!
